I wrote this on my 30th day of sobriety.
I thought I’d share it today:
Rehab Day 28
I’m in rehab.
I’ve been here for 28 days.
It’s where I’m taking my time-out from life to get well.
I’ve also experienced a spiritual awakening that doesn’t allow me to see as I once did.
Thank God for that…
So I’ve reached a landmark day. Thirty days clean and sober.
And 30 days clean and sober, although better than 30 days clouded, is really nothing without the knowledge of addiction and my relationship with God.
I’d be a fool to think “not picking up” was the solution.
It is not.
We can “pick up” mentally any time we choose.
What it Means to “Pick Up” Mentally
Every time we cross the line of compromise.
Every time we choose bitterness over love.
Every time we judge another human or think we are better or stronger than they are…we pick up.
Every time we lie.
Every time we pollute our spirit by turning to something other than God to satisfy our longings…
Sex, gambling, turnstile relationships, food, shopping, gossip.
The list is almost endless.
We have free will. We can choose. We have that right.
That’s the “cunning” part of this disease. It involves so much more than just abstinence from a drink or a drug.
If that’s all it was, we would all be clean.
But we both know it’s so much more than picking up a glass and putting it to our mouth.
It’s more than a needle to our vein.
It’s what that needle represents.
It is an outward sign of an inward malady. A disconnect from God.
An absence of light.
You can’t lie and stay clean.
You can’t talk about others, judge them or operate as a hypocrite and stay sober.
This disease loves masks.
It welcomes liars and embraces the proud.
30 Days Clean and Sober
I’m grateful for my 30 days…but I’d be a fool if I took it too seriously.
I’m still fighting. Still struggling to stay on the altar.
We have to die to self daily.
It’s only by choosing to die that we will truly live.
It’s only by going to the One well that will never run dry that we can ever fulfill the longing of our soul.
…just for today.
Do you need help finding your first 30 days of sobriety? Are you ready to change your life and make the pendulum swing from active addiction to active recovery?