Hi Mom. It’s Still Me. I Still Need You.

restoring relationships

“Give me your email and I will send you a video of her during activities today.”

“Okay. I’d like that,” I replied to the woman on the other end of the phone.

Why did I just say that?
What is happening.
What is happening.
I felt my throat closing.

I wasn’t really ready for this, but it was happening. I was going to receive a video of my mom.
My mom, who I haven’t seen for ten years.
I felt like I’d imagine a first-time skydiver would feel as they found themselves standing at that jump off point right before exiting the plane…asking, “How did I get here? I’m not ready for this. But I wanted to be here. But I’m still not ready.” Read More

Stephanie McCullough: A Letter to Myself



So I wrote this letter to myself a while ago and just found it. It made me happy/sad because I’m in a much different place now, but I felt compelled to share it. What I find profound about this is the prophetic timing of this letter considering the events that were about to unfold in my life.

I wrote that letter a week before I found my ex-boyfriend dead of a heroin overdose. It was also the last night I saw him alive. Read More

Losing My Mom to Addiction. A Journey Into Recovery.

addiction recovery

On February 28th, 2011 I got the worst call of my life. It was 9:30 am.

I woke up to 63 missed calls…

The phone started to ring again. At first I thought I was in trouble for something, so I handed the phone to my girlfriend and told her to answer it. She did. I’ll never forget the look on her face as she must of heard something terrible and started to cry. Read More

Matthew Cohen: When Passion Meets Purpose

addiction recovery

Passion: To have an intense desire or enthusiasm about a person, idea, cause, or thing.

We usually talk about passion as it relates to romance or to another person in some way. But passion is so much more than that. Passion has to do with drive, fervor, enthusiasm, spirit and energy. A lot of us in recovery are afraid we’ll somehow be forced into a life of apathy and live dull, boring lives in sobriety. We’re afraid our passion will die.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Read More