The Side Effect of Drug Addiction We Secretly Love

help for drug addiction

“I’m so fat now.”
“I hate when people look at my photos in recovery and tell me I look healthy. That’s just a nice way to say I’ve gained a ton of weight.”
“I was unwell, but I was size 2. It was amazing.”

After spending a good amount of time in rehab, you end up having a lot of different conversations with people. One, that stands out for me is the talk about weight gain during treatment. It seems like everyone is concerned about it, some are obsessed, and a few openly talk about missing the way they could keep weight off during active addiction. Read More

Are You In Recovery Mode or Relapse Mode?

relapse prevention

Definition of relapse: To fall back or revert to a former state, to regress after a period of recovery, to return to unproductive ways of thinking and behaving.

I am a recovered alcoholic.

In late summer of 2014 I spent 78 days in my first and only treatment center. Checking myself in to receive professional help was the best decision I ever made. I have my life back…Well, not really. I actually have a brand new life. One that I never imagined was possible. I am, for the first time ever, able to come to terms with who I am without feeling shame or regret. I guess you could say I sort of look at myself from “outside of myself” if that makes any sense. I don’t feel like addiction defines me. I look at it as an enemy, a thief who comes to trick me and rob me of every part of my life. In reality, everyone battles some sort of addiction. I entered treatment mainly because of alcohol, but without a real desire to get to the root of my problem I could simply switch to another, more acceptable, addiction and live my life in relapse mode for years, or decades…or forever.

But I decided I didn’t want to live that way.

I saw my own weird patterns of behavior so clearly while I was in treatment. When the alcohol was removed I would turn to other things to fill the gaping holes in my life. Read More